Who am i ?

This is the question I often ask to myself whenever I am alone, whenever some mysterious things happen to me coinciding to my intriguing thought; why I exist here in this mysterious cosmos? and whenever people around me reacts badly to this and positively to that simple deed of mine.

But no matter how much I contemplate on it, no matter how much I query myself innumerably, and no matter how much I search into every nook and corner of my heart literally; I did not get the answer that leads me to the abode of self-realization. The more I ponder over it the more complex it become to me like the complexity of the Emptiness in the Buddhism. This is the confusion-provoking query where the Emptiness is related to it and negates the most common and ordinary answers to the question. For instance, if I say that I am student, but I am not student without teacher, not king sans citizen, not father without children, not boyfriend without gal-friend, not winner sans loser and not topper without person behind me. I am nothing without all those elements.

And then the answer is I am empty, but the emptiness is not empty, and emptiness is not nothingness. It is that I am empty of complete myself and you are empty of full you.

Then, who am I? The contemplation on this question that makes you journey inward is the meditation which I think that the true answers will give you positive energy to understand Emptiness ultimately.

My answer for this is I am DEVIL.

If I kill other living beings, if I think bad to other and if I speak bad to other intentionally to make them lower and without knowing why I speak that particular words.

If you ask this inquiry again and again and if you are doing this deed, you will come to know that you are devil.

And some day you will change yourself because you would know you are bad, through this contemplation. (you' here refers to me also)